Here is a recommended book.  Dan and I are in the small group at our church.  It is very challenging.  I will not recommend every word of it, but the truths there are very scriptural.  The very basic premise of the book is that women hear(and think) through pink hearing aids and men hear (and think) through blue hearing aids.  We process things differently and this many times causes the rough points in our marriages.

When I react with respect, he reacts with love.  When he reacts with love, I react with respect. The opposite is true also.  When I act without respect, he reacts without love.  When he reacts without love, I react without respect.

It looks at the differences and shows us how to learn to react properly to each other.  I am learning so much....wish that I had gotten this 16 1/2 years ago.